Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The Pimp, the Prostitutes and the Peacock

My blog is about "the joy of life"--my passions, adventures, learning experiences.  Here is a rare humorous posting of a true incident. I'm not the comedic writer but this true story is one that causes me to laugh out loud every time I retell it--you had to be there.

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It was a Saturday night in Miami, the outer skirts of an edgy neighborhood Wynwood.  I stress "outer skirts" and "edgy" which means DON'T STOP,  DON'T SIGHTSEE, DON'T Pass Go, Go directly to Jail which is a safer place...A white sedan turns onto a street; stops, engine turned off and out tumble three women with porcelain skin; one wearing fitting jeans, loose gray shirt; the second woman with Irish red hair and wearing a coral sundress; and the third woman in short bangs and wavy brown hair sporting ala Betty Page with strapless sundress and heels.The driver in bright orange shirt and bling across the chest gives the girls clear instructions; The driver watches the girls through rearview mirror.  The sun is setting. In another neighborhood it's a romantic setting. In outer Wynwood, it could signal danger, a death warrant. The streets are quiet. The women stand on a street corner. Like pros, they begin waving their arms. Passerbys, men, are smiling.A handsome male in vivid blue vest and thrust chest, raises his voice.  Is he enthralled by the women or bothered? Is he calling them or complaining?

A police officer pulls up and asks the woman in strapless dress "Are you working?"  They continue conversing. Then the officer races around the corner in his police car, passes the white sedan, makes a sharp U-turn and pulls up alongside the driver.  He asks the driver "Are you a local? Are you with these women?"

Olivia getting out of white sedan. Standing on street corner

The women:   No they are not prostitutes. What were they doing? Preventing a peacock in the middle of the road (the male creature with blue "vest" and thrust chest) from getting struck by a car!  The women are employees of the ASPCA and were in town for a conference. As animal lovers, they knew the chances of this stunning peacock getting hit.  Yes a peacock in the middle of a bad neighborhood. Only in Miami!

The hookers--can't you tell?
(Photo taken before the incident--they only had one drink!)
The driver: It was me! Wearing my Bebe shirt, the brand name encrusted in diamonds.  The police officer was clearly concerned and advised that we leave immediately. He warned "There was a murder here last week. You don't want to be walking the streets here". I explained to the officer that I live here and the girls are visiting from New York City. To defend their actions I explained they are with ASPCA--they save animals! He didn't seem impressed but still concerned.  "You should go now."


Dear, sweet, innocent Olivia wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry--she did both.  "Do I look like a hooker?" I explained any attractive woman walking the streets in a dress this part of town is going to stand out--no matter her profession. Although how many hookers wear a lanyard?!

Christine (the pimp), Olivia and Carly (the prostitutes) at Cafeina Wynwood
If orange is the new black maybe I could wear my own uniform?
As the scenario sunk in, we burst into laughter which turned into tears. Who would ever have thought that nicely dressed women would be mistaken for a pimp and prostitutes. We weren't even wearing thigh high boots or spiked heels or mini skirt or showing cleavage.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PEACOCK?
The peacock was safe and strutted back home to his female mate. The pair are shacking up three doors down from that infamous street corner.  The question is, what was the peacock doing crossing the road? And is the peacock trained for some nefarious activity? I did see him illegally parked in a handicap spot earlier...  You never know in Miami.

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1 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOVE IT. LOL!