Friday, January 1, 2010

Review of Movie: NINE

Penelope Cruz




With scores of commercials with name-dropping celebs like Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, and Sophia Loren to name a few and the comparison to the musical Chicago, expectations were set and set high.

Unfortunately I was not charmed. Where was the dazzling choreography where I long to rewind the clock 20 years and relive my dancing years? And the singing. I asked if these A- list actresses were really singing. They were. With the exception of the belting gusto of professional singer Fergie, the rest were as flat as Miami sea level land. Even the script for these phenomenal actresses was sub par. I forget that Sophia Loren is mortal but it showed. With all the plastic surgery, she was wound so tight she appeared stiff.

The heroes were Daniel Day Lewis and Judi Dench and also kudos to Oscar winner Marion Cotillard. Technically, she's the only trained singer.
Daniel Day Lewis epitomizes the character of an Italian director who spirals into a cigarette smoking frenzy when media announcement is made of his next movie but he has no script or even a title. He "dances" around questions and the lies avalanche. His muses are the various women in his life--his dead mother who appears as a ghost (Sophia Loren), his French dress maker (Judi Dench), his childhood older heartthrob (Fergie), his wife (Marion Cotillard), his mistress (Penelope Cruz), and leading actress (Nicole Kidman).

Other memorable moments: Penelope Cruz's raunchy, tit-and-ass with fishnet hose-covered- legs performance. Fergie's lustful musical score "Be Italian" makes you want to be Italian. And Kate Hudson's perky song and dance performance. But no comparison to Chicago. Even Rotten Tomatoes is scoring this at 37% right now.




Kate Hudson



Fergie


Moral of the movie (between the lessons to learn and all the sumptous women, this movie really is for men):

Don't procrastinate

Don't lie repeatedly

Don't have affairs! Sorry Tiger Woods beat the film to punchline.




The A-list actresses


My recommendation, RENT THE MOVIE!

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